Sneaky Money
by Llama Mama23
Summary: Edward 'accidentally' puts one million dollars in Bella's bank account. She is NOT happy. Oneshot.


**Sneaky Money**

**By: Llama mama23**

**A/N: Another 4-hour car ride idea…hope you like! There is an outtake from ****New Moon**** that is kinda like this, but Edward was gone…you should read it, it ROXS MY SOXS! (You can find it on Stephenie Meyer's website under New Moon outtakes (or extras, I don't remember)**

**Disclaimer: If not owning ****Twilight**** was a brick, I'd be a great wall of china (That's A LOT of bricks).**

"Bye, Mike! See you tomorrow!" I hurried out of Newton's store, running to my truck and making it roar to life. Clutching my latest paycheck in my hands, I drove quickly to the Forks International Bank.

Banks don't make sense to me. If you look at one bank, it'll say something along the lines of 'international bank' and yet it is the only location of that name you ever see. And then there's 'national banks' where you also only see that particular bank in that particular city. Point being: banks are big fat liars.

But I still needed them. So I pulled into the almost empty parking lot of the Fork's bank. Wanting to get home to Edward, I rushed into the bank, and stood at the counter, waiting as patiently as possible for Jessica's mother to notice me. To speed things up, I cleared my throat, making it sound like a polite cough. Mrs. Stanley lifted her curly head, turning around to face me. "Another pay check?" she asked holding out her hand for the light blue piece of paper.

I gave it to her, leaning onto the white counter for support as I waited for her to finish.

"Would you like an account balance?" she asked, her eyes slightly larger than normal. Her long finger was held delicately above the 'print' button on her keyboard.

"Sure." I replied, knowing exactly how much I had in there. She tapped the button, waiting for her billion-year-old printer to finish spitting out the slip of paper. She tore it off smoothly, handing it to me. I thanked her and make my way back to my truck, slipping the balance into the back pocket of my jeans without looking at it. I wanted to be home. I got to my truck, revving the engine loudly as I turned it on.

As I was driving back home, my mind wondered. I wanted to know if Edward was really home, waiting for me. Ever since our return from Volterra, I'd been terrified that he would leave again, despite all of his promises and protests.

I pulled smoothly into the driveway, noticing that Charlie's cruiser was not parked in its usual spot next to my truck. He was probably still at the station. I quickly cut the engine, stepping out of the truck and locking the door behind me. I bustled inside, removing my jacket, and hanging it on its designated hook.

"Edward?" I called to the air around me, "Are you in here?"

He appeared in front of me, noiseless as ever. Wrapping his arms tightly around my waist, he pulled me up to his level, kissing me fiercely.

"Of course I'm here." He murmuredwhen I was close to fainting. "I just finished preparing your dinner." I rolled my eyes, still not understanding his sudden desire to cook.

He hoisted me into his stone arms, carrying me into the kitchen, where a beautiful dinner awaited me. I spotted a note from Charlie on the fridge, saying that he would be at the station until around 3 o' clock in the morning. Something about yearly paperwork getting lost.

I sank gracelessly into one of the kitchen chairs, picking up my fork delicately. I bit tentatively into a mouth full of pasta, knowing before I really tasted it that it would be delectably delicious. I was not disappointed.

"Do you like it?" he asked concernedly, looking like he would explode if I told him it wasn't.

"Of course I like it. It's the best alfredo I've ever tasted. Thank you for using your talents for good." As I took another bite, I tasted _something_ but couldn't put my finger on what it was exactly. "What all is in it?" I asked, still trying to place it, "Do you have a secret ingredient?" I grinned at him, finally identifying the flavor.

He looked sheepishly at me for a moment, his eyes making my stomach do funny things. "Garlic." He answered finally.

I snorted, the sip of water that I had just taken seeming to come out my nose. "What?" he asked defensibly.

"Nothing." I returned still sniggering into my glass of water. I don't know why I found this so funny, probably because vampires weren't supposed to be able to have anything to do with garlic. Edward smirked at me from across the table, I couldn't tell if it was because he also thought it was funny, or if he just found it amusing that water had just come out my nose.

I finished the excellent pasta, luxuriating in every bite. And before I could get up to clean the dishes, they disappeared along with Edward. I whirled around, to see him at the sink _washing _them! I stood to go take over the task, but when I got to the sink, the dishes were already sparklingly spotless on top of the dish towel.

He smiled at me before scooping me up into his marble arms and dashing up the stairs. He set me gently on my bed, and settled in next to me, locking eyes with me.

We sat like that in silence for a few moments, staring lovingly into each others eyes. When I spared a quick glance at the clock on my bedroom table, it was 9 o' clock!

"Oh!" I gasped, completely surprised that we had managed to sit here like this for over an hour!

"Why don't you go have your human minute?" his velvet voice murmured against my neck. "I need to run home and change clothes."

"Okay." I said, getting up and gathering all my things.

He kissed my forehead lightly before disappearing out my window. I rushed into the bathroom, knowing that he would be back soon. I hurriedly got into the shower, but took my time inside it. You just can't rush showers. I finally shut off the water, slipping on a bathrobe on the way out. I brushed my teeth hurriedly, and then picked my crumpled jeans up off the floor. I checked the pockets before throwing it into the hamper, finding my forgotten bank statement. I uncurled the paper and glanced over it, prepared to throw it into the wastebasket.

Then I _really_ looked at it. My mouth fell open in shock, my eyes almost popping out of their sockets. There was one-freakin-million dollars in my bank account. Exactly one million! I thought for a second before I decided that it must be a bank error; rare but still happen-able. Then I applied logic, which told me that if it was an error, it would have been changed by my earlier deposit.

There was only one person who could do this without raising suspicion.

"EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, stomping angrily back to my room. He was lying across my bed, trying and failing miserably at looking innocent. He watched me stomp closer to him, and I remembered that I was still in my bath robe. It had little pink hearts all over it, but it covered most of me; not that it mattered, I was too angry to care. I could feel the angry tears starting to form in my eyes, which meant that I was _way_ angry.

"What is _this_?" I shook the paper violently before throwing it at him to prove that I was one hundred percent serious. His face continued to look amused and not the slightest bit worried about my anger physically destroying him. He raised one eyebrow at me, but didn't say a word.

"Why is there one million dollars in my bank account?" I screamed at him, a few of the tears falling slowly down my face. He got up from my bed, wiping the tears from my face, looking me dead in the eye.

"What are you talking about?" he asked me. I gaped at him, not believing that he would lie directly to my face.

"You put a million-freakin-dollars in my bank account!" I yelled. This was ridiculous. He knew that he put the money there. I knew he put the money there. He _knew_ that I knew he put the money there. It was one big know-fest.

"No I didn't." he insisted. But his tone of voice was that of a little kid saying 'No I did _not _eat that cookie' or 'No I did _not _break that vase you bought' and it was a dead give away.

I swayed slightly, so angry that I don't think my head was getting enough blood. I collapsed onto my bed, feeling my eyes closing slowly.

This was ridiculous. Why was I fainting over this? I don't think I was even breathing. I _knew_ that he had done it and was lying about it; why was that a big deal to me?

"Bella?" he asked worriedly, leaning over me and brushing the still wet hair back from my face.

"I know it was you." I breathed, still trying to calm down enough to be able to have a real conversation.

"If I told you it _was_ me, would you calm down?" he still looked worried, as if I was really going to pass out on him.

"Maybe." I muttered, still feeling a little lightheaded.

"Okay…it was me." his face looked as if he was waiting for a volcano to explode. And was _not_ disappointed.

My faintness turned to anger again in less than a second. "Why would you _do_ that?" I screamed at him, still not understanding why he couldn't leave my financial status out of everything. The tears were falling fast and hard from my eyes, blurring my vision. Even blurred, I could see how confused Edward looked.

"Why is this such a big deal, Bella?" he asked me, his brows drawn together.

"Because." I whispered. He needed to understand this. He's always ignored me when I told him not to buy me something, so maybe he didn't fully understand exactly what about it bothered me.

"We are so out of balance as it is. You are a beautiful, gorgeous man, and could have any girl you ever wanted. Yet for some unfathomable reason, you choose me." His mouth opened at the beginning of my sentence, but I held one finger on his lips, keeping him silent.

"You are patient, caring, sweet, funny; everything that anyone would consider 'perfect' is exactly what you are. You _are_ perfect. In every way, shape, and form; you are perfect. And you have money. Why do you need to spend it on _me_? We are already so far out of balance; every dollar you spend is just tipping the scale more and more. It will snap eventually. It already almost broke. What is the point in stretching it farther than it already has?" I finished my rant, slipping my finger off his mouth, the tears still falling from my cheeks, but slower; almost stopping.

Edward's eyes were sad. So sad. If he could cry, I'm almost positive that he would be. He looked at me like I'd just told him every puppy in the world was going to die.

"Is it my turn?" his velvet voice asked, looking hard into my eyes.

"If you need it to be." I answered, returning his stony gaze.

"You are also everything that I'm not. I'm a monster." He paused to lay _his_ finger against my mouth, to stop it from saying the words that it was already forming. "I need to kill things to survive. It doesn't matter that I downgrade the killing to animals, it's still killing. You _are_ beautiful, and you don't even see it. _You_ could have any guy you wanted. _You _for some reason, choose to be with _me_. Turning your back on humanity and all the human things you'll regret never getting to do someday. _You_ are…well, not patient, but you have many qualities that I'd never thought anyone could possess. You _always_ put other people's need above your own; sacrificing your own happiness to make things better for others. You make other people happy, despite what it costs you. _YOU_ are perfect. _You, _and only you, are all that I will ever want in life. That scale you mentioned? Not only does it not exist, but it wouldn't matter ever if it did. The 'scale' would always tip your way, never mine. The only thing that you _don't_ have more of than me is money. And I don't even want it! I would give up every penny in the world if it meant I could be with you for only five minutes. I _want _you to have it. You deserve more than I could ever give, but I can try my best to give you as much as you'll let me."

WOW. Well, I was pretty sure that he would have been crying at the end of my speech, but _he _couldn't. _I_ could. I was crying the 5th ocean over here. I'd call it the 'Edward-ic'.

He brushed the tears from my face with his lips, holding me close to him until my tears finally slowed and stopped. I sniffled, sitting up to meet his beautiful topaz eyes.

"I think I'd better go get dressed now." I sniffed, exiting the room.

I threw on my pajamas, walking slowly back to my room. Edward was sitting in my rocking chair, slowly rocking back and forth, his eyes far away.

I walked over to him, taking his cold hand in mine. "I'm sorry." I said simply. "My over reaction was slightly extreme."

"You don't have to apologize. I shouldn't have even tried it." He held my face in between his iron hands, "But please will you let it stay there? It's just in case you're ever in an emergency if I'm out hunting."

I sighed, knowing that I wouldn't be able to say 'no' to him even if I wasn't looking directly into his hypnotizing eyes. "Okay." I murmured, stretching my neck forward to kiss him on his cold lips. "Thank you." I said again, when my lips were free.

Exhaustion hit me like a sledgehammer, making my eyes suddenly droop as if someone had dropped a lead weight on them.

Edward carried me to my bed, setting me down, and lying next to me like he'd done earlier.

"Edward?" I said right before sleep took me.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Never try to be sneaky about money again. I _will_ find out eventually." And then I fell asleep to the tinkle of his musical laugh.

**A/N: That was the weirdest thing ever. Not only was I getting all teared up, but I didn't even realize **_**what**_** I was writing! I hope no one else cried and that I'm the only sissy out there who's eyes start watering (I **_**refuse**_** to think of it as 'cry') when something incredibly romantic happens. Anyways, I hope at least one person liked it, and if you are that 'one' person, please review and tell me so. If you didn't like it, please review and tell me so. I hate typos and grammar errors, but I'm sure I missed some. It's up to ya'll to make it perfect!**


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